When it comes to relationships, we all need a bit of me time and space from time to time.
According to John Gray, renowed author of the father of all love books Men are from Mars – Women are from Venus, this phenomenon in men is the rubber band effect. It’s a natural cycle that most men feel – and some women too.
A man needs to feel autonomous and independent, it makes him feel… well… manly for want of a better way of putting it. Pulling away and making some “me space” between himself and his partner allows him to gain what he’s looking for. By having the chance to re-affirm his independence, a man begins to appreciate once again, what it is to be part of a couple. A renewed desire to seek out the intimacy of his relationships with his partner. The chances are, if you’re a man, being 100% rubber is probably on your “care label”. Be sure you’re partner is aware of the phenomenon to avoid misunderstandings.
Me time and the ability to be 100% rubber also features on many women’s “care labels” but for different reasons. Women may feel the need to stretch back and create some space because they feel distrustful or maybe they’ve been hurt and are afraid of being hurt again. Whereas man need to be left alone when they take their “me space” women may often need following and wooing back by creating more trust and healing any pain.
By knowing and understanding the concept of needing to be flexible, be it for ourselves or to satisfy a care instruction of our partner, we can begin to gain insight in to the best ways to support each other. Do you follow and cajole back or do you step back and get on with your own thing until they come back?
By following the care instructions on your partner’s “care label” with care you really can have the relationship you want.
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus has been around for a zillion years. A lot of the common sense stuff in the CANDo Life Skills Care Label Guide has it’s reasoning from what John Gray has to say in this and many of this other books because, quite frankly, what he’s got to say makes real sense. Have you read any of this books? Do you recognise any of the behaviours in your own relationship? Why not leave a comment?