You’re more than a bit naive if you hadn’t considered that sex was going to rear it’s head somewhere in the Care Label Guide to Improving your Love Life.
Not surprisingly, sex features on most people’s “care labels”. For some it’s a physical need – usually (but not always) men. For others an emotional need – usually (but not always) women.
When you agreed to an exclusive relationship with your partner (be it marriage or a monogamous relationship), you agreed to fulfil the care instructions on their “care label” when it comes to how much and what kind of sex. If you’re not following these instructions, you’re kind of welching on the deal a bit – which could signal danger for the future.
Men and women view sex very differently. Men need sex to feel affectionate. Women need affection to feel like having sex.
In the same way as previously for affection I said that men need to accept that women’s “care labels” often feature affection whether they understood it or not, if you’re a woman, whether you like it or not, you have to accept that men are very likely to have “Lay Flat & Shag Often” displayed in capital letters on their “care label”. It’s irrelevant if you don’t understand it. It’s irrelevant that you don’t feel the same way. In this instance it’s about their wants and needs.
To be sure that you’re caring according to the instructions on the “care label” you’re going to need to work together. Whether you “get it” or not, you need to make sure your man’s “getting it” from you.
Women become more sexual if their emotional care instructions are followed so, if men can make the effort stimulate their partner emotionally with affection for a while before moving in for the kill, they are more likely to find their woman much more receptive to the idea of sex.
Conversely, a lot of men can be turned on almost immediately and would make great Martini Ads (any time, any place, anywhere). Although they should never deny their needs totally, women may sometimes want to consider letting a man have his “quickie” to keep them satisfied on the basis that the more emotionally bonding sessions are less tense. John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus came up with a fantastic idea of a veritable buffet of sex from the Gourmet Sex for her, Basic Home-made Menu sex for both and Quickie sex for the men. He’s also got loads of other hints and tips in his bestselling book Mars and Venus in the Bedroom. Believe it or not, there are great benefits to be had from letting him have it his way and quick.
Diverse sexual needs cause enormous tension and unhappiness in relationships but are not insurmountable. Be sure to find ways to follow the care instructions on your partners “care label” if you want to prevent them from straying.
Have you come up with any unusual ways to fulfil your partner’s care instructions and equalise the inequalities of sex life? Don’t be too graphic – we’re a family community after all – but DO tell, please?