Fed up with the kids?
Mother-in-law driving you insane?
What about your boss or is it your partner that inhabits a different planet?
It’s impossible to live without having relationships of varying types; they come as a given in life and it’s one those little things we all just have to get on with. Most of the time, this is acceptable however, we all have people we find it difficult to get along with and our relationships with them ebb and flow with our (and their) moods. Difficult people aside, even the best relationships automatically come with misunderstandings, arguments and potential hurt, which make it important to ensure your relationship life skills are bang-up because, you can’t turn your back on these people; you have to interact with them.
When problems arise, whether we like the other person or not, our initial reaction is to blame the other person: I mean, they’re the one that’s difficult, right? They are the ones being unreasonable, making us feel bad or behaving badly… aren’t they?
The answer isn’t as cut and dried as you might think.
Relationships with others are one of the roots that feed our happiness. Therefore, it is essential to be proactive in creating, maintaining and nurturing the very best possible relationships with those around us and to stop handing the reins to others. YOU have more control over your relationships and the balance of those relationships than you realise. Without others even being aware of it, you have the power to take control, influence your feelings about interactions and generally steer relationships onto better ground and here’s a CANDoable for how:
It really is as simply as that. Where possible, choose who you spend your time with ensuring they are similar, positive types of CANDo get-up and goers to you.
Where you can’t choose the who, e.g. your boss or your next-door-neighbour, choose to respond in positive ways, to feel positive feelings, to interact with them in a way YOU can be proud of.
Choose to feel good and no-one can force you to feel bad.
Choose to make changes to the way you behave and react rather than expecting others to behave differently. You have the power to choose your behaviour but not the behaviour of others.
Even if it’s your kids, husband, mother-in-law or your boss, rather than looking to them to become better people, change their ways or be nicer, choose to initiate changes in yourself. It will have a knock on effect and your relationship with them will improve.
Choose to take control by starting to control yourself.
Learning how to choose and take control of relationships is just one relationship life skill covered in the forthcoming CANDoable Life Lessons series due to launch in late 2013. For notification of when the series launches and a FREE CANDoable Life Lesson (when they become available), click the link below to join up:Join Up!
What did you choose to do in one of your relationships today? Drop me an email or leave a comment below.