Men’s “care labels” frequently sport the Admire and Appreciate care instruction. Given this, how can you go about admiring your man more effectively – and if we’re honest SINCERELY (there’s nothing worse than over the top, insincere flattery).
Deep down in his googley bits, your man probably needs a bit of appreciation and admiration. It’s probably on his “care label” and he’s not proud. He’ll get it wherever he can – including from the kids, your girlfriends, or even from other women if you’re not giving him his quota (argh!). To be fair though, his favourite place to get it is YOU.
It’s likely your man craves admiration at times so much, he’ll serve you up opportunities to ohh and ahh all over him on a plate. He’ll strut, show you that bit of muscle he’s been working on, make some comment on part of his body he likes or something a colleague said about a good job at work. All this is designed to get you to comment positively and admire his manly abilities. What he doesn’t really want to hear is what a lovely, sensitive man he is. NO WAY JOSÉ. He wants you to admire the bits of him that make him a Man with a capital M. Physically, we’re talking his chest, his strong hands, his muscles – his (shh) lad! Mentally, we’re talking how he excels at male stuff such as leadership, decision-making, his sporting prowess and knowledge of how to do “male” stuff.
You can laugh all you like at this if you’re a women. But you can bet the moths left at the bottom of your purse at the end of the month, that male readers are probably sat there thinking about the seemingly ridiculous things your care instructions require them to comment on that they don’t “get” either. The difference is they do them and they do them ‘cause they love ya.
The good news is, there are some simple things you CANDo. Here are a few top tips:
- Find out what interests him. What his passions are. When he starts talking about these things listen to him – NO! I mean REALLY listen to him.
- If your man does something he thinks you would like or admire and you HONESTLY like and admire him about that too, for XXXX’s sake tell him. Shout it out. Let him know you noticed, you liked what you saw and you want more.
- If you hear him mention a part of his body, one of his characteristics, a blokey thing he’s done, etc., that you suspect he likes about himself, he’s feeling a need for admiration and serving you up an opportunity to do it. USE IT lady! If you can like that thing or part of him, admire whatever it is he did or drew attention to. BEWARE, with some things it maybe appropriate to admire in private but you’ll only cause him embarrassment if you do it in front of friends.
- Let him know you’re listening to HIM when it’s stuff that’s important to him. Not the words he’s saying – I mean there’s not many women that can keep up their end of a conversation about the football league scores or the white wire’s connected to the red wire… He’ll eventually say or do something you can admire or get interested in too and you really don’t want to miss your chance. Letting him know you’re listening could simply mean saying “yeah I’m listening” or asking a relevant question or two.
Kick-Ass CANDo Call to Action for Women:
- List 5 really male things he likes about himself and you concur HONESTLY with. The new age stuff is good, but the stuff you need here is what makes a man a man, the stuff he likes about himself. It’s really important to stay honest too coz there’s nothing worse than insincerity. If he doesn’t have a huge lad don’t try telling him he has but, if you honestly like the way he wields his lad and he’s proud of it too,… well that’s a whole different ball game. Likewise, if he’s a 5 stone nothing, you’re not going to want to be making admiring comments about his “strong”, muscular back but he may genuinely think and have really strong hands or amazing stamina. The key is to be genuine and stick to what he thinks is worth admiring. Centre more on what he likes about himself and you agree with rather than what YOU think.
- Over the next few days, observe things and look for opportunities to admire just one of these 5 things as you’re man does them, draws attention to them or provides you with an ideal opportunity to notice them. You may find it tough if you’re not used verbally admiring things but you need to go there ladies. Verbalise your thoughts and you’ll be amazed at how your man begins to glow. Keep it short and sweet. Just one moment of admiration at the right time, for the right skills, capability, body part… blah, blah, will be sufficient to make his week. It’s quality not quantity with a man.
Kick-Ass CANDo Call to Action for Men:
- You know, there’s no reason you can’t make the same list but for things you’d like to compliment or appreciate about your lady. Again, the fact that she can change a plug just ain’t gonna do it. You want to be saying things like eyes, you’ve lost weight, wow you’re arms are getting really toned, you’re really good at making our house a home, blah, blah, blah… With women though, you’re looking at lots of little compliments rather than one biggie like for men.
- Just like the women, observe, look for opportunities and get in there with that compliment and appreciation. Again, it’s gonna feel strange at first but practice will make perfect.
IMPORTANT: For both men and women:
If over the next couple of weeks you hear a few awkward, misplaced, clumsy compliments or attempts to admire/appreciate something – acknowledge them as if they’d been done with finesse and let it go. Know your partner’s making an effort to hone a love life skill because they love you.
Behind every good man, there’s a woman appreciating his behind! Behind every good woman, there’s a man complimenting her’s. Be that women or man for your partner coz if you’re not someone else will surely step in and do the job for you.