Honesty and trust in a relationship are vital for achieving a sense of security.
Honesty provides us with opportunities to learn to trust our partners and through trust gain security in the love they have for us.
If we can be honest and open about likes, dislikes, feelings, inner most thoughts, hopes and fears, daily activities, future plans – anything really – then we can become more secure in our ability to provide these things to our partner. And, conversely, in our partner’s ability to provide what we need to make us feel secure.
Although couples can “get to know each other”, there can be no mind-reading in a relationship. Honest information is what’s required.
If one partner isn’t honest, the other will quickly learn that they can’t trust what’s being said. “Did she really mean she’s okay because last time she wasn’t?” “Is he really working or down the pub like the last time?” If the signals we send out aren’t honest, the signals our partner receives will be confusing. They’ll doubt the truth in answers to even the simplest of questions or vagueness and, over time, it will become impossible to have a completely relaxed sense of security which may then leave the relationship feeling off-balance.
Honesty and openness in a relationship provide us with the greatest intimacy possible. We effectively open ourselves completely, hiding nothing and having nothing to hide which also makes us vulnerable. It is this vulnerability that makes us feel totally safe with one another. This openness is only achievable through 100% honesty and commitment to learning how to communicate with each other effectively.
If you feel frustrated if your partner isn’t honest about their feelings, keeps secrets from you or is mysterious about their schedule, the chances are honesty features prominently on your “care label”. If it is, make sure your partner is aware of this and look at ways you could both open up a little more in your relationship.
Are you 100% honest with your partner?