To say that times have changed is a total understatement when you take a look at the family unit today – it’s unrecognisable.
BEFORE – Women traditionally stayed at home. They were nothing short of 100% domestic goddesses. Cooking, cleaning, organising the family life and raising the children. Men were met at home with a kiss, warm meal on the table, kids tucked up in bed and free to pop on their slippers, relax and smoke their pipe – I kid you not so you can stop laughing your pants off now!
NOWADAYS – More women than ever work too – part-time, full-time- night-time, shift-time, all-the-XXXX-time, both men and women are at it. Consequently, life at home is somewhat different for both partners – and any subsequent children. Whether it’s worse or better is down to individual preference and dependent on personal “care label” instructions.
I think it’s safe to say that we spend so much time and effort earning money and building that fulfilling career that often, the “full-time” job of creating a relaxing, supportive home – that was undertaken by the domestic goddesses of the past – must now somehow be met elsewhere or, as is sadly often the case, not met at all.
Just because both partners are out all day earning money, doesn’t mean the;
- windows don’t need cleaning
- house doesn’t need cleaning
- children don’t need raising and teaching everyday life skills
- shopping doesn’t need to be done
- evening meals don’t need preparing
- clothes don’t need washing and ironing
- Blah, blah, blah…
What has happened, is that this previously “full-time” job is now being done “part-time” by sub-contractors (if a couple can afford to outsource and get cleaners, child-care, gardeners, a micro-wave for the TV dinners, etc.). If those kinds of funds aren’t available, the couple need to do it themselves.
While we really have to give all credit to the efforts of “modern men”and their willingness to help so that women can feel equal and work too, the difficulty comes when, as often is the case, there simply aren’t enough hours in the day.
BEFORE – A couple (two people) had TWO full-time jobs.
- The Provider earned the money (one full-time job)
- The Domestic Goddess kept home and hearth and raised the children (one full-time job)
Any time left over was spent relaxing and in leisurely pursuits together. Cue domestic bliss!
NOWADAYS – A couple (two people) often have THREE full-time jobs.
- The Provider (one full-time job)
- The 2nd Provider (one full-time job)
- The Domestic Goddess/New Age Man (one full-time job)
There isn’t much, if any, time left over. When both partners finish their full-time jobs, they come home not to relaxed leisure time together to recuperate their energy, but to their portion of the third full-time job of the couple. This “extra” job is often shared unequally, resented and eats into the time when both partners should be relaxing and recharging their batteries. Cue domestic shizzle!
Having a harmonious, stress-free home-life at the end of a tough day out in the wilds providing for the family is essential for any provider if he or she is to regain their strength to get out there and fight another day. Because of this, it’s a pretty important care instruction for many.
Although domestic bliss is often more likely to appear on a man’s “care label”, with the growing number of high-flying, full-time career women, it is now increasingly important on women’s “care labels” too.
A home life that offers no time to relax without worries and stress can cause serious problems within relationships. So no matter how much you laughed at the thought of the domestic goddess of the past, neglecting this care instruction on a partner’s “care label” is no laughing matter. Between you and your partner, you need to work out where this lies for you both and come up with solutions to make sure you’re both being taken care of.
How and when do you solve the problem of the THIRD full-time job in your home? Why not share your secret on a CANDo email or in the comments below?