Maybe this is a bit simplistic, but hey… I’m a simple kinda girl.
The way I see it is this. Everyone comes with a “care label”. Just like that nifty new suit you wear to the office, your fav footy team kit or your brand new (copy)Kate Alexander McQueen outfit – they all proudly display their label giving strict care instructions to hand-wash, dry-clean, dry flat, wash colours separately, don’t spin, etc.
You too have a “care label”. And on it there are various care instructions that anyone who interacts with you needs to be aware of. You let people into your life in varying degrees by checking them off against the care instructions on your “care label”.
Everyone’s “care label” has similar care instructions. There are some of the symbols below to give you an idea what I’m wittering on about.
Easy so far right? Wrong! Because here’s where the difficulties start to arise. Each of our “care labels” is different. Why? Because life would be waaay too easy otherwise! The care instructions on each of our “care labels” can come in any order and size – and this is particularly marked between men and women.
Men might have “Lay Flat & Shag Often” or “Wash & Brush Up with Care” at the top of their label, whereas for women these care instructions may be obscured on the back somewhere because they simply aren’t that important to them.
Women however, may blatantly display “Provider Required” or “Handle with Care and Affection”, but these care instructions don’t even make the label for men who tend to be more simplistic creatures – and I don’t mean this is a bad way! I mean women have a tendency to make things SO much more complicated.
Being aware of our own “care label”, making it legible to others and reading the “care labels” of potential partners, requires polished love life skills.
When we date, we look at potential partners and make judgements. Judgements as to how that person would carry out the care instructions printed on our “care label”.
As potential partners, we are also being “read” to determine if we can carry out the care instructions on our potential partner’s “care label”.
When both sides are convinced the other will follow the care instructions suitably, we take the relationship further.
Ahh bliss! Loads of sex. Plenty of affection. Admiration abounds. Best feet are put forward. Honesty is there (and if it’s not we’re happily oblivious because we’re not being honest with ourselves!), etc., etc. Life’s just bloody great for a while. And then…
As relationships develop, couples start living together, maybe marry and have a dog, cat, couple of canaries, the odd goldfish and then possibly children.
Over time, just like the care labels in your favourite clothes fade in the wash or get snipped off for being irritating, the care instructions on our “care labels” begin to fade for our partners. We become bogged down in earning money, raising kids, etc..
Eventually, we begin to neglect the care instructions a little. Just like we start to risk hand-washing the dry-clean only trousers, we start to risk not going to the game with our man, not giving our woman time to talk or an affectionate cuddle and kiss when we get in from work or even – God forbid – having sex less often!
If we’re not careful, it can eventually get to the point where we snip the “care label” off all together by becoming oblivious to it. At this point the relationship is probably really floundering and real threats of separation, divorce and/or affairs loom.
Being aware of the care instructions on your partner’s “care label” and making sure you continue following them is key to improving your love life.
If you want to improve a relationship, get back to having a better love life or work out how to improve marriage, you need to take time as a couple to reacquaint yourself with each others “care labels” and start following the care instructions again.
Now don’t worry if you haven’t got it all from this post. A few more will be forthcoming shortly which will delve into the murky depths of each of the care instructions. They’ll explain care instructions further and give a few hints as to what just might be on your partners “care label”, so stay tuned folks!
Do you know what’s on your partner’s “care label” or are you oblivious to the fact that they even have one? As always, we’d love to know on a CANDo email.