When you first started dating your partner, the chances are you quickly became friends and companions.
You probably spent plenty of time together. In fact, you probably started to spend as much time together as you could.
You did things you both enjoyed such as bowling, eating out, playing tennis, etc.
You probably even did things with your partner you would never have considered doing on your own, e.g., going fishing or clothes shopping together.
You looked forward to seeing each other more and more because each time you undertook an activity together, you shared positive experiences and had fun.
You very probably ended up spending more and more of your time together – possibly even to the exclusion of other close friends.
You effectively became each others “best buddy” or “companion”.
As relationships mature into living together, marriage and – possibly – children, daily things such as earning money and motherhood can often erode the time we have for joint leisure activities. One partner always be late getting home or away on business. The other might be exhausted from childcare. Whatever the reason, we often begin to “neglect” our best buddy. We’re no longer prepared to take part in activities that don’t “float our boat” as they eat away at the precious little energy we’ve got left. We don’t go on dates any more. We don’t “do” things together. The chances are there’s very little time (or desire) left to “do” anything together once all the “must do’s” are completed.
Marriage and children can change a relationship significantly but, what we need to be sure doesn’t happen, is that partners stop being “best buddies”. If your “best buddy” – read here your partner – doesn’t have time for you, the chances are one or the other of you will start looking around for a companion to do all the nice things with. You’ll start having more positive experiences and fun with your new companion than with your partner. This can be dangerous.
If “Buddy Required” has pride of place on your partner’s care label and you’re not being a good buddy, the chances are you’re not following their care instructions sufficiently well to take care of them the best way you can.
CANDO Kick-Ass Call to Action: Make the effort to work at being your partner’s “best buddy”.
Sit down and choose together two or three activities that you BOTH really enjoy EQUALLY. Not for him and she goes along with it or for her and he suffers in silence. Choose stuff you both like a lot.
If you enjoy the activities, you’re more likely to do them together more often. The more often you and your “best buddy” get active together, the better your relationship will become because you’ll be following their care instructions just like it says on the label.
What kind of activities do you and your “best buddy” spend time doing to improve your relationship? Leave a comment or send us a CANDo email.
PS If you want to know more about the importance of being your partner’s “best buddy”, there’s some great tips to be had in Willard F. Harley, Jr’s book His Needs, Her Needs and on the site The 5 Love Languages