Taming your Fifty Shades of Self-Sabotaging Thoughts

Every one of us at some point or another indulges in Fifty Shades of Self-Sabotaging Thoughts – and we’re not talking about the kinky stuff here either. We’re talking negative thinking, wo-is-me moments.

We all get them but what’s really crazy is the amount of time we spend listening to the negative stuff that spouts from the mouths of our Inner Imps Fear and Doubt as they drone on and on, incessantly.

“You can’t do that!”

“It’ll never work.”

“They’ll know you’re faking it.”

“They’re going to fire you you know?”

“He’s going to dump you.”

“She fancies him.”

“You’ll never get that job.”

“There no way that baby’s gonna squeeze out of that tiny hole.”

Their topics are infinite, their endurance legendary. Our endurance… is sadly not quite up to par.

Of course, it’s easy for me to sit here at my computer and say “Ignore those Imps.” “Slap ‘em down.” But in reality, this is a pretty hard thing to do. SO. I’m gonna let you know, how I curb the tongues of my cheeky Inner Imps Fear and Doubt.

If you Can’t Beat Them, At Least Give Then a Good Kicking

First up, let’s be honest. It’s gonna be nigh on impossible to beat self-sabotaging, negative thoughts completely from your head. No matter how hard your little Positive Thinking Imp works at keeping these guys away from the mic, at some point Fear and Doubt are gonna get to it and you’re gonna be hearing them whinge.

So if you can’t beat them, at least get a couple a CANDo kick-ass ploys to give them a bit of a kicking so they’ll keep away from the shadier side of your thoughts and learn to bask in the sun.

Negative Thoughts Breed Like Bunny Wabbits!

It’s true. You take a look next time you’re dragged into the quagmire of negativity. You start off worrying about one thing and then along comes another and another until they’re popping up all over the place and you’re about ready to hang yourself from the nearest clothesline.

Ploy One – Keep yourself and your mind busy.

If you’re idle, your negative thoughts are gonna be at it like bunny wabbits so don’t give them the time. Why do you think it’s at night that we more often than not tend to lie awake worrying? Err… because we’re lying there doing nothing. WE’RE IDLE. Keep your mind and yourself busy and you’ll have less time to worry.

Practice Present Moment Awareness  (Ha… say that when you’ve had a few too many!)

This is one of Eckhart Tolle’s babies – really sensible stuff if you’re interested in finding out more about living life proactively.

The way Eckhart Tolle sees it, is that negative thoughts spring up from preoccupations about past or future stuff.

Ploy Two – Keep your thoughts in the NOW, e.g. if you’re thinking about the present, now, this minute, you can’t worry about stuff from the past and the future won’t ever get here.

Hocus, Pocus? Maybe, but it works for me and it’s hard for my Inner Imps Fear and Doubt to argue with facts.

Cut Through the Mire and Rewire

Another, reason we get bogged down with negative thoughts is wiring. Our Inner Imps have worried so much in the past, criticised “Team Us” to the absolute hilt and/or loathed “Team Us” for this, that or the other, that it’s become our praxis. We slip into negative thinking automatically.

Ploy Three – Get conscious about your thoughts and you’ll be able to cut through the mire and rewire.

Each time you have a negative thought, ask yourself whether there are any 100% truths in it, or if it’s all just supposition. If there’s more supposition than truth then concentrate on thinking about the true bits; the bits you know are facts. Once you’ve done this, see if you can’t eliminate the supposition. By doing this, you’ll be rewiring your Inner Imps to concentrate on the “facts” rather than expending energy worrying about the “might bes”.

Believe in Yourself

Keeping things positive is a life skill that impacts hugely on how we view ourselves and our lives and, ultimately, how we then live our lives.

At the heart of a lot of negative thoughts is the fear of not being good enough.

It’s not so much what happens to you as how you think about what happens.  Epictetus

No matter how experienced we are or confident we seem, this fear is like a despondent looking pooch cowering in the background of our minds. It’s Fear’s well-loved pet and he’ll trot him out for “walkies” whenever he gets the chance. Doubt feeds this porky pup continually in the hope that he’ll grow so big he’ll be able to put you off doing anything remotely exciting. Even Reasoning will occasionally look over the top of his scholarly glasses at it with an indulgent smile.

You can’t ignore this fear but you do need to remember that just because your Inner Imps are trying to convince you that “you’re a fraud” or “not up to it” doesn’t make it true.

We all have this fear and other crappy stuff in our heads. The difference between those that are successful, happy, lucky, positive etc., etc., is how much energy and air time we give these thoughts.

Use these CANDo ploys to tame your thoughts and direct them in more positive directions and you’ll be on to a winner.


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One Response to Taming your Fifty Shades of Self-Sabotaging Thoughts

  1. Det Nilam November 6, 2012 at 9:48 am #

    I like the part about the baby and the tiny hole. 🙂

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